Fake Baby Photo
Not since Jesus has a baby been so eagerly anticipated. Actually, forget Jesus. Only three wise men turned up to greet him in the manger. The Brangelina baby—as the megawatt couple’s spawn is known, at least until its parents give it a proper name—has People, Us Weekly, In Touch, Star, and Life&Style (working, of course, on behalf of the millions and millions of readers they serve) awaiting the newborn’s arrival, all of them hoping and scheming and planning to voyage to the ends of the Earth, if that’s what it takes, to get a first—preferably the first—glimpse of the blessed child.
Why are people, and People, so desperate to see the Brangelina baby? The men and women who helm the celebrity weeklies have an easy answer. Their readers, they explain, view celebrities as their friends; and as they would be with any friends, they’re interested in their so-called life events. The big three of life events, the theory goes, are weddings, breakups, and babies—hence the celebrity weeklies’ laserlike focus on celebrity weddings, celebrity divorces, and celebrity babies.
But even for a life event, celebrity-weekly editors go on to explain, the Brangelina baby is particularly enticing. For one, there’s the simple matter of aesthetics. “The parents happen to be two of the most gorgeous people on the planet. How gorgeous is that baby going to be?” wonders Bonnie Fuller, the editorial director of American Media, whose stable of magazines includes Star. Dan Wakeford, an executive editor of In Touch, offers a tentative answer: “This could possibly be the most beautiful baby in the history of the world.” Even more than looks, there’s the backstory. “There’d be a lot of interest if it was Jennifer Aniston’s baby,” explains an editor at one celebrity weekly, “but with Brangelina, there’s that extra factor that the Hollywood golden couple was broken up so that this relationship, and this baby, could happen . . . I mean, this is the baby Jen wouldn’t give Brad, and the fact that it’s Angelina giving it to him—my feeble little mind can barely handle it!”